THOUGHTS ON POTTY TRAINING!

Written by Wanda Abercrombie

All rights reserved

I wish I'd read this a year ago... and from the friend's comment too...

I had no problem with training my daughter at 18 months old, she went to the potty chair like champ, and never pooped on herself (except a big accident at 3 at Disney, in the pool no less), unless there were children over and she'd forget or be too lazy to stop. She had a mommy that was trained because I knew when to take her for the poopy business, she was clockwork!!!  I didn’t have her at Disney, my parents did!!!  They weren’t trained to HER schedule…

Then, the first boy came along. He wore cloth diapers. By 8 months old, he was wetting so much (of course he wore rubber pants over the diapers) that he quit wetting at night. He probably got tired of being cold from wetting on himself. He was not as easy going either, you see, he would cry if he pooped. He wanted to be changed, YESTERDAY!!!  NOW...  

We went back into the military and put him into disposable diapers and diaper service (the reason for that is hilarious and another issue)... But, at 2 years, 2 months, he was taken "cold turkey" out of diapers and never had an accident...  Easy...  Done…

Then boy #2, the third child... He was easy going, nothing affected him. Laid back, and happy...  At about 2 1/2 - 3 years he trained. I was happy, no pressure no upset... This was quite easy, just as the other boy, just a little later…

Then boy #3...  I thought at age 2 I'd start him training, but no pressure of course. He was a smart and happy little fellow, surely this would be easy.  He was afraid of the hand dryers in bathrooms and would scream as a infant and he was so laid back and didn't care if he had a wet or dirty diaper.  But, NO problem, he’d  get this right quickly…

At 2, we caught him and placed him on the potty, he went poop in the potty (2 years old) and we thought that was simple...  NOT...  He started withholding. He'd go for days, no poop or he'd poop 10 times a day and so hard he'd hurt. He got to where he'd hide in his closet.

So, we again caught him and again placed him on the potty and yep, we got it this time...  NOT!!! 

Everyone told me to put him in regular undies and throw pull-ups away... I did!  Everyone said, "He'll not want to have dirty undies and after 2 or 3 days, he'll be going in the potty"... Right?!!!  Wrong!!!!

He would hold it, hold it, then he'd go find a pull-up and put it on, go hide in the closet and poop. Then come out and holding his fingers in his ears, he would announce, "I've pooped"...  What did he want me to do, may I ask? Jump for joy???  NOT!!!

I threw those pull-ups away...  In the garbage they went...  Surely he'd do what they'd said and surely he'd be potty trained. After all, he was 3 now... 

At birth he had reflux so bad and had Zantac...  now he is either having hard poop or 15 poops in a day (still hard most of the time).

He was taken to the Docs at 3, given Miralax...  In my mind, I give him Miralax, and I have more to clean up...  I just wanted him to figure out where to go when he needed to relieve himself...

He even had to go to the Emergency Room one night in pain. After an x-ray, they thought he had an enlarged spleen but after a second x-ray at the Doctor's Office, they concluded that he was backed up.  

In 2009 I told him we'd go to Disney if he'd poop in the potty... We have the tickets and couldn't take him...  I have to keep my word. Surely he'd respond. NOT!!!  Okay, we have Busch Gardens down from our house. We have season tickets. I told him we'd go if he'd poop in the potty. Do you think that helped...  NOT!!! We haven't been there since June (still paid for the tickets) and still poop... We have Disney tickets for over a year and can’t go… 

Then we took him for his 4 year check-up (June)and I asked all kinds of questions. #1. Is he autistic? #2. Is he normal? #3. Why am I so frustrated?

Well, they assured me that he'd be potty trained in the month because he was very smart, intelligent, and could verbalize well with great language and vocabulary.

Do you really think language and vocabulary or even smart has anything to do with pooping in the potty.... NOT!!!!  Get real Doc, I am smarter than that!!!

He then was sent to a Pediatric GI Specialist and a Pediatrician (and while there, he'd hold it, then have the feeling and run, bolt out of the office and me chasing him down the hall to the potty where he'd get combative, "No, he cried" and again after the 3rd trip and being very combative, accidently went after I placed him on there once more)...  Both Docs were going about it a little differently but both wanted him totally cleaned out. Enema, suppository, laxative and an 8 oz bottle of Miralax (taking 4 oz one day and 4 oz the next day). Gosh, that is a lot of Miralax.  I begged them to just please put him into the hospital because I was stressed and now on top of poop stress, I now have to get into a cleanup poop mode to unstop him.

 So, I told the Doc that I was going to Tennessee for a week and I'd start this when I got home. Hey, if he’s been stopped up for over a year, then what is an extra week? It is hard to travel with other family members (parents, cousins, Aunts, etc...) when you hear that others are 2 and trained or 3 and trained and he's 4...  I couldn't put him in swimming lessons, soccer, t-ball, gymnastics for fear of humiliation. We became a victim to the poop monster!!!!  The Poop Monster was in our presence! Like a villain he was there… and what would we do???

We went to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. He was holding it in. I gave him a capful of Miralax and kept him in undies (because he hated wearing pull-ups). He was holding it and you could tell by the way he walked sometimes that he was in pain. I even asked my Mom and Aunt to pray for him. I prayed at the toilet with him because only God knew how stressed pooped was making all of us!!!  Then I sat him on the potty as I had before and same thing combative, scared but he finally went, and although we all clapped and were proud of him, I knew this had happened before.

The trick to being trained isn't the first poop on the potty it is if they continue the next time and the next and the next and so on...and on their own, without combative struggles, without making them go.

So, the next day, he held it again and did not go. Ok, I thought, "If you are so proud of yourself for pooping on the potty, why don't you want to sit on it again"? Was he scared of the toilet, the pain of going, or of being flushed away.  Don't let your kids watch Flushed Away!!!

Because he’d pooped in the potty a couple of days prior, although he hadn’t went since, I took him to Burger King's playground in Monterey, Tennessee. We were traveling and this will be good for him, I figured!!!

He comes out of the playground and I see that look on his face like something is concerning him. I asked did he need to go poop...  His answer.... NO mam...So, he proceeded back up into the playground...  After about 2 minutes, he came out saying, "I pooped"! Was I happy?  NOT...  You see, our suitcases were in my parents' truck...  They were about 30 miles behind us...  What am I going to do????  Wait for them.  Shift work in the bathroom, with my cousin, keeping him at bay until they arrived and we could get clothing...  Are you laughing yet???  I wasn’t!!!!!  Had to throw undies away! Favorite pair too!!!!

Ok, I was at my wits end...  Then we get to the cabin where we were staying. He didn't go potty. He didn't go potty.

The next day my Dad, Mom, Aunt, Cousin, and Chris (my other boy) all went to KFC in Livingston, Tennessee. We were eating, and no playground (I was afraid of those playgrounds now!)  AND no wet wipes or extra pants, just one pull-up that had always stayed in the car... All is well, we have all eaten, when out of the blue, he states, "I pooped". "I'm sorry". Chris looked at him and gently said, "Logan, that isn't cool Buddy, If you want me to come back home, you need to learn to go potty".  Chris is at Lee University and Logan misses him.

Then the real fun began. I so appreciate having my Mom around... Cleaning him with napkins was another issue all its own!!!!  Job done, and he's cleaned up...  You try cleaning up behind poop with napkins and water and wondering what to do with all these undies…  I am not cleaning them in public toilets…  Throw another pair away? 

That was 2 weeks ago today... October 14...  My #1 boy, Aaron, and his daughters Hanah (11) and Audrey (8) came up and met us that day after the KFC fiasco... Audrey played with him, she was the teacher and he was the student. He could write his name, and recognize letters and she'd tell him that he got 100% but he couldn't go to big school until he pooped in the bathroom. Then, on his own, he walked into the bathroom and sat on the toilet...  He says if he poops in the toilet that Chris can come home.  Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Winnie the Pooh and all of Disney didn't click so why would this???? 

Continued to poop, continued with Miralax, and continues to poop on the toilet the whole trip, and even now. Some days he'll go 15 times a day, others he'll go only 1-2 times a day... 

Today, I am feeling like a liberated woman! 

Was it prayer (I believe it works), was it prayer and God used Chris to say what needed to be said, or was it God used the girls playing with him?

I don't know what it was, but yesterday, Logan said, "I poop in the potty now, can Chris come home"?

Thank you Lord for another one potty trained, and may I never look at any mothers and say, "Well, if it were mine, he/she would be potty trained"!!!  You know each child has their timing for bodily functions. Spankings, Disney, candy, treats, nothing works if they don't want it to...  Enjoy the moments, write a funny story, but after it happens, its these hard trainers that make the best stories…

So, all you moms going through the potty training era...  Take heart, there are many moms that have children that do not poop and train until they are older. When your 18 month old is trained, they will occasionally have accidents through age 4 or 5, and if they train at 4 or 5, then they normally do not have accidents. So, in the long run, most children are trained by the time they start school at 5....  If you live to be 90, who cares if you've been trained for 85 years or 88 years!!!!! 

In the scheme of life, this is another milestone reached… 

Thank You Lord….. "This too, shall pass"  

 And oh, the places he'll go now that he's potty trained, to play his drums in the woods...maybe a carousel...maybe ride on Chris' shoulders in the mountains...or swim at a hotel...  It is sounding like a Disney trip could be in the making!!!!  You go Logan! I am so very Proud of You.......